Rest Day #1
Finally, a rest day. All that Elvis can say about those first 10 days is WOW! 562 miles!
Some folks might look ahead on a rest day but Elvis is going to look back. Not just back on the leg-breaking first part of this year’s 50% of the Miles 100% of the Effort Tour Challenge, but way back to the day that Elvis became a real cyclist. June 14, 1985. Elvis had spent plenty of time on bikes as a kid and had even done a couple of triathlons in the early 80’s. But on June 14, 1985 Elvis ordered his first real (and real expensive) bike. A 1984 Colnago Triomphe Saronni. This bike used a frame identical in construction to the one rode by Giuseppe Saronni when he won the World Championship in 1982 - just beating a young Greg Lemond.
The bike came stock with a Campagnolo Chorus groupo, new at the time, and a pair of Ambrosia Elite wheels. Elvis ordered it sight unseen from a bike dealer in Florida who had an ad in the back pages of Bicycling Magazine. Total price: $683.00. Plus $33.00 shipping. That was a lot of smack at the time. Over $1400.00 when adjusted for inflation. Elvis was a poor young man at the time and probably had to pay a few bucks a month for years just for the privilege. But what a privilege! An honest-to-goodness Italian racing machine!
Elvis even kept the sales receipt. It’s faded and a bit hard to read, but here it is;
Over the years Elvis has tried a variety of bike
brands but recently came back to Colnago. Four years
ago Elvis found a used CT-2 frame (titanium) and
three years ago a snappy carbon fiber C-50. Both the
CT-2 and the C-50 are what Elvis uses today. Neither
has ever let him down. Colnago’s are everything
you have heard they are and more. The ride is smooth,
true, fast and sublime.
The old 1984 Colnago has spent the last 20 years in a
variety of basements, unused. Until today. Over the
past few weeks Elvis spent some time cleaning, lubing
and adjusting all of the original parts to get it
road ready. And today he set out for a nice, easy
recovery ride with his old friend. For the second
time today Elvis could only say - Wow! What a ride!
Elvis had forgotten just how smooth a high quality
steel frame can ride. At first I forgot about the
downtube shifters and would try to flick the brake
levers. But when I remembered to use the downtube
shift levers my brain remembered thousands of shifts
from all of those years of riding 20 years ago and
shifting was just as smooth as the new Dura Ace
stuff; not one flubbed gear change.
It was as fine a summer evening as you could ask for;
warm, golden light, light breeze. And riding along on
some of the same roads that I broke this bike in on
all of those years ago had Elvis feeling downright
young again. And nothing, nothing beats
looking down at a shiny chrome fork. Sweet!
Elvis will be doing a full review of this bike in the
coming weeks. Maybe even a comparison of the 1984
Colnago to the 2005 version. In the meantime enjoy
this quick peek;
1984 Colnago. A true
Italian stallion.
Mileage goal for today: 0. Miles ridden: 17.
Stage 10 - Steep and Deep
Another mountain Stage at the real Tour meant another ride in and around Holy Hill for the Tour Challenge.
Today’s nemesis;
the church atop Holy Hill
Elvis took the aptly
named Hillside Road south from his castle and Darin
took it north from his. We would meet somewhere and
then head west for more hills.
A sign of things to
come
Up and down. Up and down.
We decided that it would be a good idea to not only
ride up Holy Hill, but to ride all of the way up to
the back of the church where real, honest-to-goodness
holy water springs from a cistern atop a hellacious
little climb. People actually come from miles and
miles to fill bottles full of this water in the hope
that it can perform a miracle of some fashion. Elvis
is dubious and is further turned off by the little
signs asking for a donation in exchange for taking
water. The signs lead to a moral issue; if the water
is truly miraculous then a donation shouldn’t
matter. Then again, what if I don’t make a
donation? Will the gods extract revenge? And how much
should the donation be? A couple of bucks to in
exchange for getting a date with the cute chick at
the end of the bar? A thousand dollars to get my
ailing grandmother out of her wheelchair?
Unfortunately, they don’t teach you this stuff
in school - you are on your own. And here’s a
tip for the managers of the holy water. Put some in a
bottle, take it to the bank. You don’t need my
measly donation. Use your head!
There is also a “shrine” of St. Mary at
the top of the hill. But when Darin parked his new
(and free) bicycle under her Elvis became confused.
Which is the real
shrine? Porcelain statue or shiny new (free)
bike?
Many hot and hilly miles
later Elvis’ Garmin 305 bike computer spit out
this profile;
Sweet mother of Mary!
That’s a hilly ride!
Today’s Mileage Goal: 49. Miles Ridden: 50. Over 1 mile of vertical climbing.
Stage 9 - Windage
It was so windy that there were numerous occasions when the three of us almost got tangled up into a carbon fiber mess when the wind would gust to some unimaginable level and suddenly push us into each other. Heading west we had to keep our heads down as far as we could. Heading north we had to lean into the wind. It’s a strange thing to be riding and leaning to the left. And it doesn’t help the saddle sores since it put’s enormous pressure on one side of your, um, arse. Saddle sore update: the chamois creme seems to be helping and the sores are not what they used to be (but don’t tell Mrs. Kennedy - she still thinks Elvis should sleep in the nude to avoid further irritation).
The real Tour has been a bit sleepy so far. Other than 10 seconds of excitement during the sprint at the end of each Stage it’s been uneventful. Elvis is still waiting for more hammers to fall due to drug usage. It is Elvis’ firm belief, based upon observations and a keen sense of the human condition, that most pro riders are on the juice to one degree or another. Elvis even has a ratio to estimate how many riders in a given race are using drugs. The Elvis Ratio. The Elvis Ratio states that for every rider who is caught using drugs in a multi-day race, there are 59 other riders using drugs. The ratio was determined by taking the following into account; the randomness of drug testing, only the winners/leaders get tested each day, the abilities of teams/riders to beat the system (some are good at cheating, some suck at it) and the fact that as more riders are use dope, more need to just to stay even. As of today, one rider has been caught which means that at least 59 others in the Tour are doping. We’ll see how many we end up with.
Speaking of cheating think about this; last year Alexandre Vinokourov was only caught doping because someone on his team made an idiotic mistake - the person gave Vino’s blood to one rider and that other rider’s blood to Vino. Testing caught this. This just shows you how stupid teams and riders can be. You would think that it would be all but impossible to make such a serious mistake. Under some conditions this could have killed both riders. That aside, had this mistake not been made Vino would NOT have been caught blood doping. Get that? He would NOT have been caught. Which means that the drug testing system does NOT work to the degree that we would like to think that it does. Teams and riders know this. Elvis thinks that the temptation is too great; blood doping works by making you stronger and faster, and done correctly, you won’t get caught.
And here is a tip for all of you pro teams and riders out there; don’t complicate the method in which you try to identify all of those bags of doped blood in your coolers. Two years ago in the drug ring known as Operation Puerto the doctors were putting things like “JU” on bags which didn’t take an Inspector Clouseau to figure out meant “Jan Ullrich”. Elvis is guessing that teams are now using somewhat random ID’s like “67382”. This kind of over-complication is probably what lead to Vino getting a bag of his teammate’s blood. Instead of having a fancy system to make the name or number on the bag non-traceable to a particular rider Elvis proposes this simple yet foolproof system; ID the the riders thusly; Lance1, Lance2, Lance3 and so on. Each team has nine riders in the Tour so you would have bags going from Lance1 to Lance9. Each rider knows his number and he can check the bag before getting the transfusion. Simple and foolproof. And free to those teams and riders smart enough to read the Elvis Kennedy blog each day.
Today’s Mileage Goal: 71 Miles Ridden: 57. Elvis is still has 19 in the bank.
Stage 8 - The Blue Train
We once again rode north which took us through the town of Cheeseville. A couple of readers have questioned the existence of a place in Wisconsin called Cheeseville. The name is almost too good to be true. Why anyone would doubt Elvis I surely don’t know but here is a picture of part of a dairy farm slap-bang in the middle of Cheeseville;
Cheeseville - It’s
real
This northerly route also
took us up and over the top of the monster climb
referred to as The Wall. Elvis has done a good job
over the past year avoiding The Wall and suddenly
he’s climbed it twice in the same week. And
during the Tour Challenge too. There will be heck to
pay.
Today’s Mileage Goal: 54. Miles ridden: 61.
Stage 7 - Something Fishy
Although I’m dead tired almost all day long I do put in special efforts to eat and drink. Past Tour Challenges have taught me that slacking in the calorie department can have serious repercussions on the road. I might be taking on a few too many calories since I weigh 3 pounds more than when this stared, although it’s down 2 pounds from the peak at Stage 4.
With legs still heavy from the last two days (134 miles) and no cycling buddies available to ride with I was not looking forward to today’s Stage. More rain this morning mixed with the hot July sun in the afternoon was turning this part of the world into a sauna. If the winds are out of the east it can be significantly cooler near Lake Michigan, so with that thought in mind I headed east with plans to ride south along the lake into Milwaukee for some urban cycling. The temperature dropped about one degree per mile and by the time I hit Lake Shore Drive it was a pleasant 63 degrees. The coolness of the wind offered much needed relief to my legs and lungs. The more I rode the better I felt. The only downside was the heavy smell that was coming onshore with the cool breeze: dead fish. Really dead. Really unpleasant.
Be glad that you
can’t smell it
With traffic lights every
few miles and pretty girls running along the adjacent
path it was a nice ride into the city. It was also
nice heading back north with a slight tailwind. Just
as I cruised out of the city limits I passed a group
of 3 cyclists. We exchanged pleasantries and then I
overheard one of them say, “He can be our
carrot today”. I knew what he meant - they
would let me get some distance ahead and then chase
me down. As I rolled along this began to bother me, I
hate being passed when riding a bike. After a few
minutes I looked back to see them about a quarter
mile behind and closing fast. Why there is an
inherent competitive gene in every cyclist I
don’t know. My legs were fried, I was tired and
I still have more than two weeks left in the Tour
Challenge. Did that suppress the competitive gene? No
way! I knew I shouldn’t but I put my head down,
clicked up to the big ring and began to increase my
speed until I got into a groove at 25 mph. As
difficult as it was it felt kind of good to be moving
fast. On every hill and on the headwind sections I
put in a little extra effort knowing that I was
causing pain in the group behind. After five miles of
this they were losing ground. At ten miles there were
gone. And I was completely toasted. Not only for the
remaining ten miles home - but for the rest of the
night. And for what? They didn’t catch me. It
was worth all of the pain.
_____________________________________________________________________________
I suppose you’ve heard about the latest doping
scandal at the Tour de France? Read about it HERE. It sounds like there
might be a few more cyclists getting busted soon
since a number of them have
“suspicious” readings as a result of
blood tests. Does this surprise anyone? It
shouldn’t. Elvis has maintained for years
now that almost every athlete near the top of
almost every sport is probably doping in some
fashion or another. The free gains to be had by
taking a little bit of this and a little bit of
that are truly remarkable. And even if a certain
athlete would prefer to remain clean he
understands that his competitors are probably
taking dope and that he will need to just to stay
even. Even athletes in the paralympics succumb to
the siren song of dope (read HERE).
What Elvis finds interesting about the latest cyclist
caught doping is the relationship to Lance Armstrong.
Yes, the guy so many people idolize for any number of
reasons. Elvis does not like Lance because Elvis
thinks that Lance only cares about Lance. Name one
thing that Lance has done for the sport of cycling
since he retired from racing? You can’t. Elvis
believes that Lance owes much to cycling because he
gained so much from the sport. He needs to give back.
Take Bernard Hinault as an example. The man known as
The Badger appreciates what the Tour meant to his
life and what it means to others. He is on the podium
every day helping the Stage winner don the yellow
jersey. Could you see Lance lowering himself by
standing behind another rider and buttoning up the
back of that riders jersey? No way. Or how about
this; just the other day some protester jumped onto
the podium to complain about some socialist thing or
another and what did The Badger do? He kicked the
sorry arse of the protester off of the podium.
Literally. Take a look at this picture of The Badger
kicking arse;
The Badger - doing what
he does best; kicking arse
Could any of us ever
imagine Lance doing such a thing? Not a chance. Lance
would have had his “people” whisk him off
of the podium because Lance would have assumed that
the protester was there because of Lance. In
Lance’s head the whole world revolves around
him. Every thing happens as a result of Lance. Read
HERE how he states that the
entire Astana cycling team was excluded from this
year’s Tour for one simple reason; Lance.
Not because of Astana’s history of fielding
whole stables of dopers. Not because Astana has
embarrassed the sport in general and the Tour in
particular. Not because Astana has a history of
standing behind it’s dopers. Not because
Astana is backed and funded by the Kazakhstan
government which has repeatedly turned a blind eye
to doping in sport. No, the Tour excluded the team
because it’s new manager once worked with
Lance. Right.
Back to the latest doper and Lance. Manuel Beltran
worked for Lance in 2003, 2004 and 2005 by pulling
Lance up many of the toughest climbs in the Tour.
Just had other riders like Floyd Landis, Tyler
Hamilton and Roberto Heras. And what do those guys
have in common with Beltran? Well, in addition to
being Lance’s teammates they’ve all been
busted as dopers and cheaters. Which leaves us with
this to think about; almost every key cyclist that
Lance has ridden with or against has been busted as a
doper and a cheater. Is it reasonable to think that
Lance was the only clean guy in the peloton? Is it
reasonable to think that a clean Lance was still able
to crush all of those other world class athletes who
were aided by dope? I’m just sayin’.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Today’s Mileage Goal: 50. Miles ridden: 60.
Elvis now has 25 miles in the bank.
Stage 6 - Found on Road Dead
The body screams for rest. The mind screams for help. Swing a leg over the top tube. A gentle push forward. Slowly clip in. Start pedaling. Keep pedaling. It was a long, lonely and mindless ride today. I’ve not much to tell you other than when I looked up I saw a lot if this;
And I felt a lot like
this;
I must, MUST find a way
to get some sleep.
Only one good thing happened all day, and this was
big - I saw a monster storm coming up behind me as I
neared the end of the death march. I was able to
muster just enough energy to get home and into the
garage about one minute before the storm hit. Winds
of 50 mph, sheets of rain, bolts of lightning and
millions of pellet-sized hail. It would have been the
end of Elvis had he been caught out on the road in
this one. Here is what it looked like out the front
door just as it started;
The tree on the right is
bent to the right by winds, the tree on the left it
bent to the left by winds. All of the little white
dots are hailstones. Yikes!
Today’s mileage goal: 61. Miles ridden: 60.
Stage 5 - Leg Breaker
After meeting up we headed north and west to get the headwind sections over with. This took us through Newburg, Cheeseville, Fillmore and Beechwood. Curiously, a big Budweiser truck was sitting in Beechwood. I wonder if they drop their beer off for aging (Beechwood Aging?). This route also took us up and over a little section of road Elvis likes to call The Wall. The Wall is a terrible climb and the worst part is that you can see it looming miles ahead. It’s intimidating before you even get close. Hard on a normal day - brutal with a 25 mph headwind roaring over the top.
The Boss and Mike
staring down The Wall
By the time we hit the turnaround point we were
wasted. 37 miles grinding into the wind. Sure, 37
miles of mostly tailwind was nice but with the energy
already sucked out of our legs it was hard to enjoy
much of it.
Elvis sure appreciates the efforts put in by Mike and
The Boss. They did it because they love cycling and,
I suspect, they love Elvis too. In that manly,
don’t touch me kind of way. The feeling is
mutual fellas. I could not have done today’s
Stage without you.
Here is a typical Wisconsin scene that we passed
today - tavern on the corner, silo in the background.
And the slightly too clever name for the
establishment.
Say it out loud for the
full effect, “Where the Fahgowee?” Good
question.
Here is something
interesting; Zipp has a new disc wheel; the Sub9 Tubular Disc. It’s a
full carbon, full disc, dimpled, lightweight time
trial wheel. But that’s not the interesting
part. The claim that Zipp makes about it is
interesting. According to Zipp, they were able to,
“create the first wheel ever to show
negative drag in a wind tunnel”. Get that?
Negative drag. This would mean that by standing
this wheel up on a flat road on a windless day it
would start rolling forward on it’s own,
like it was rolling downhill. This is not a
breakthrough in cycling, this is a breakthrough in
physics. They claim a -80g drag reading. Not that
any of their potential customers have any idea
what -80g of drag means specifically, but
generally it would mean that this wheel would suck
it’s rider forward. Better still, the more
it rolled forward the faster the negative drag
would suck you along. Put two of these on your
bike and in a few minutes you would be setting new
land speed records without ever turning a crank.
How cool is that?
A guy could even use one as a generator for free
electricity. Talk about going green. Imagine
thousands of these churning out endless amounts of
renewable energy. Somebody tell Al Gore about this.
The horror of global warning is over!
Then the fine print; “At 15 degrees of
yaw” this wheel showed the negative drag. 15
degrees of yaw means that the wheel is not rolling
straight ahead, but is instead pointed 15 degrees to
the left or right of the direction of travel. Elvis
doesn’t think that this would work too well.
Which begs two questions; 1) Why would you test a
wheel under circumstances that do not exist anywhere
but in a wind tunnel?, and 2) Why make a
“negative drag” claim that in a real
world setting is meaningless and non-existent? Elvis
could not find anywhere on Zipp’s website the
drag readings for this wheel when pointed straight
ahead - the manner in which Elvis is likely to use
such a wheel. I guess Zipp believes the old adage
that a fool is born every minute. That probably tells
us something about Zipp as a company.
Be sure to chain it down
for storage or it will roll away
Today’s mileage
goal: 72. Miles ridden: 74.
Stage 4 - LBS
Fortunately, today’s ride called for only 9 miles. I took this opportunity to ride to the closest LBS (local bike shop). Elvis is an infrequent visitor to local bike shops because he generally finds that the staff is less knowledgeable about stuff than Elvis is, they almost never have the desired item in stock and most importantly, Elvis can rarely find a good deal. And often finds a rip-off. The last time Elvis went to this particular shop was two years ago during the Tour Challenge when a chain broke. I like to keep a spare on hand but didn’t have one that day. After calling around to see who had a Dura-Ace chain in stock this place was the only shop that did. Elvis thinks that a Dura-Ace chain should be standard stock for any legitimate bike shop. Elvis gets to the shop only to find that the chain was priced above list price. Elvis spoke with the owner and suggested that perhaps it was a mistake. The owner looked at Elvis and said, and I’m not making this up, “The price is as marked. Do you want it or not because I’m busy here”. In that instance Elvis had no choice but to bend over - but Elvis remembers these things and hasn’t visited that shop since.
No comes the saddle sores and $4.00 per gallon gas. So off I went on my ride to the shop to see about some chamois creme. The staff was friendly and they had tubs of Udderly Smooth chamois creme. I paid their price and rode home. Then I did 20 seconds of checking online to find that I got bent over again. I paid $8.99 (plus tax) for an 8 ounce tub. Drugstore.com has it for $4.69 (see HERE). Ebay vendors sell it for $4.49, and the list price is $6.50 (see HERE). There is simply no reason for a bike shop to sell a product at a 40% premium over list price. Imagine what a Colnago C-50 would cost at a place like that! Of course they don’t carry Colnago bikes, just Trek brands like just about every other shop in a hundred mile radius. Sheesh!
I often hear LBS owners crying over the loss of sales to on-line vendors. Well cry me a river. If the local bike shop hasn’t figured out how to compete in the new market and they continue to charge rip-off prices they have no business being in business - and good riddance to them. This is why Elvis spends most of his cycling dollars at places like Performancebike.com. There’s always a 10% coupon available, there is no tax to pay, shipping prices are fair and stuff arrives in 3 days. That, my dear readers, is how the new market works.
The only redeeming
factor is nearby coffee and wine
I took the scenic route
home only to find that the scenic road had taken a
severe beating during the endless winter we had. Not
only was it rough on the saddle sores but I think I
might have lost a dental filing along the way. The
sign below echoes my sentiments. And no, Elvis was
not responsible for the vandalism.
The other LBS is pounds.
Weight. Every year I expect to lose some weight
during the Tour Challenge. And every year I am wrong.
I figure that it should be all but impossible to keep
up with the caloric expenditure. At Saturday
morning’s weigh-in Elvis was 164 lbs. Today I
had ballooned to 166. At this rate I might end up
looking like that other Elvis that you may have heard
about. Just another fat slob choking to death on a
fried banana and peanut butter sandwich.
And why is the abbreviation for pounds
“lbs.”? Turns out it comes from the Latin
(go figure) for libra pondo, meaning scales of weight
measuring one pound. The libra for the constellation
Libra which looks like a scale. I just knew that you
would find that information riveting.
Oh, boy! When I start writing paragraphs like that
last one it can only mean one thing; I’m over
tired and should head straight to bed. And why not?
Mrs. Kennedy wants me there - and in the nude!
That’s reason enough for this Elvis!
Mileage goal: 9. Miles ridden: 17. A few more in the
bank.
Stage 3 - iElvis
That cool picture of Port
Washington (above) was taken after Elvis rode the
torturous climb up the bluffs overlooking the port
city. As today’s Stage was a solo ride by Elvis
he can say, in pirate, “I hammered me bike to
the top all by me onesy. Arrrrgh!”
Arrrrgh is right - 66 solo miles really took
it’s toll today. Thunderstorms in the morning
had Elvis very concerned about getting a big ride in
safely, and with no further damage to his naughty
parts since the saddle sores are still hanging
around. As soon as the rain stopped I hopped on the
bike to see how many miles I could log before the
next storm rolled through. These last minute
departures mean riding solo since most of
Elvis’ potential riding partners aren’t
typically waiting around for the hot phone to ring
with Elvis on the line demanding, “Are you
ridin’ or are you hidin’?”.
As the storms dissipated the wind and humidity began
to rise. The ride went north through Jackson,
Cheeseville and skirting West Bend. A turn east on a
specific road ran through Random Lake. Continuing
east until the road ended at Lake Michigan and then
south through Belgium, Port Washington, Grafton and
eventually, home. The wind, humidity and heat sucked
all of the energy. By the time I rolled back into the
garage I was dog meat dead. Thank goodness
tomorrow’s Stage is a short one.
Take a close look at this sign (below) that was noted
during the ride. What do you suppose is meant by,
“Odds & Ends”? Since Wisconsin is
home to both Jeffrey Dahmer and Ed Gein, I wonder. And that
“Live Bait” business doesn’t
make me feel any better about it either. The phone
number is listed on the sign for those of you
curious enough but if you choose to call, Elvis
would recommend blocking your caller ID, you know,
just in case.
Long solo rides can
become mindless slogs. Elvis has been known to say,
“90% of cycling is psychological, the other
half is in your head”. Elvis fights this by
using technology. And the perfect gadget for this in
an Apple iPhone. I know, lots of Mac haters out there
want to poo poo this thing but let me explain why
it’s a perfect companion to a cyclist;
1) It’’s an iPod. I don’t recommend
listening to music while cycling. This requires that
you wear some sort of device in or on both ears. This
in turn removes you audibly from your environment.
You will not hear danger approaching. What Elvis does
is listen to spoken word programs; podcasts, books on
tape, The Elvis Kennedy Podcast.
This way you can have something in or on your
right ear, leaving your left ear clear for the
sounds of danger. This is a great way to catch up
with the news or read that book you heard about.
Elvis once listened to an Earnest Hemingway book
on tape - that guy was good!
2) It’s a phone. Big miles require big blocks
of time. As astounding as this sounds, the world does
not wait while Elvis rides. During short stops for
water and food Elvis can check his voice-mails and
text messages. He can also make calls or respond to
text messages. This keeps Elvis in the loop and more
importantly, gives others the illusion that
Elvis is sitting at his desk. It’s also handy
if you get separated from your riding buddies or if
you need to call for assistance.
3) It’s a computer. Sending and receiving
emails is simple and another great way to give that
illusion of being in the office. Today,
Elvis used the internet feature to track rain and
storms by viewing a real-time weather radar. You can
even get lives updates of the Tour de France!
4) It’s a camera. Not a high quality camera but
nice to have in a pinch.
5) It has GPS-like functionality that uses cellular
phone towers to triangulate your position. Elvis has
used it and it’s pretty accurate - to within
about 100 feet. Good enough if you’ve lost your
way. And it will give you turn-by-turn directions to
the nearest Starbucks or other source of caffeine.
6) It’s small, thin and lightweight. Slides
into and out of a jersey pocket easily.
And finally, it can be used to keep the dear readers
of the Elvis Kennedy blog updated -
LIVE! That’s right folks,
Elvis Kennedy is announcing that as of today,
followers of Elvis’ Tour Challenge can get live
updates during the Stage rides. LIVE
UPDATES! See photos of the Stages
HERE
(http://gallery.mac.com/elviskennedy#100131), and
messages HERE
(http://twitter.com/elviskennedy).
What’s really cool is that you can subscribe to
both feeds and each time Elvis sends a live photo or
text message you will be notified (via email or text
message). On the photo site simply click on the
“Subscribe” button. On the text site
you’ll need to get an account (free) for the
live updates. Or you can simply bookmark both pages
and check-in periodically. Wow! The things that Elvis
does for his dear readers!
With all of that - Elvis is tired. Time for bed. Good
night.
Mileage Goal: 65. Miles ridden: 66.
Stage 2 - Who Are You?
But back to the matter at hand; today’s ride called for 51 miles, so I called for help from Darin and Mike. They stepped up to the plate in a big way by meeting Elvis early and pulling him around the countryside. North out of Germantown we headed to Saukville and Lake Michigan. A more spectacular day we could not have had. Once again it was beautiful, clear blue skies, light wind and mild temperatures. Light traffic and not too many other cyclists to get in our way. The only thing that slowed us down was a many mile long freight train which caused a minor traffic jam (see photo, below).
Since this is
Elvis’ fourth go ‘round with this Tour
Challenge thing you’d think he would have
learned a thing or two. But yesterday I made two big
mistakes; I didn’t drink enough on the bike and
I didn’t shower immediately after the ride. The
first caused a headache that I couldn’t shake
and the second has caused what could be the genesis
of a saddle sore. Stupid!
I guess I fell victim to complacency. We all know the
need to keep hydrated when exercising. My usual rule
is to hyper-hydrate to avoid this issue - drinking
water until my pee is clear. In fact, I once
developed a guide so that you can easily tell if
you’ve been drinking enough simply by looking
at the color of your pee. For your convenience I
reproduce it here;
As for the saddle sore,
I’ll start by cleaning the suspect areas with
antibacterial soap multiple times per day and
I’ll also start using a saddle cream during
rides. Let’s hope that does the trick or
it’s going to be a very long 3 weeks!
Mileage goal for today: 51. Miles ridden: 55. That
puts another 4 miles in the bank. Check the
“Tour Mileage Chart” tab at left and
you’ll see that this Tour thing is already 10%
over. I’m not sure if I should be happy or sad.
Then again, maybe someone else has become Elvis
Kennedy via that identity theft thing and it’s
not my problem anymore.
Stage 1 - Alpha
Darin is an interesting fellow. He is riding a brand new Trek Madonne bicycle and brand new Bontrager Race X Light wheels, that he got free. All of it. Free. He tells a rather mysterious tale of cracked chain stays and micro cracks near the spoke nipples on the wheels. Something about Trek telling him too bad, Darin not accepting that answer and suddenly he gets his new stuff. Further, Trek originally sent him a frame without a fork since Darin had not said anything about cracks in the fork. Since the new frame did not match the old fork something had to be done, according to Darin. Trek obliged by sending out a brand new (matching) fork. Weird. I’ve never heard such a wild tale ending so splendidly for the protagonist. But kudos to Darin for getting bicycle giant Trek to stand behind their stuff. Next time I’m in the market for a new frame I’ll be going over every millimeter of my old one with a scanning electron microscope and then providing the details to Darin so he can contact Earnesto Colnago on Elvis’ behalf.
Today’s stage took us northwest out of Germantown, into Slinger and then west to Rubicon. Nice country roads the entire way. Farmers were out cutting hay and the sweet smells made Elvis smile. That and the light breeze. This is the first day in months that the winds haven’t been blowing somewhere between 15 and 45 miles per hour. If Elvis had any extra cash he’d invest in a wind farm. It’s been so windy that severe weather alerts like the one below have been commonplace;
From Rubicon we turned
south, skirted the town of Hartford and soon found
ourselves climbing up and over the Holy Hill range.
Today’s route had a bit too much climbing for
an opening stage and I hope there is not a high price
to pay.
Elvis has spent so little time on the bike that he
forgot to bring the camera - a mainstay during Tour
stages. Fortunately, he did have a cell phone with a
camera and was able to capture this moment - Darin
rolling past an outhouse in the middle of nowhere.
Must be a government installation of some sort, since
the rest of us would just pee in the woods. Darin
could roll confidently by since he has read the now
classic, Elvis Kennedy’s Guide
to Peeing While Riding a Bike.
By the time we arrived
back we had put in 62 miles. One more than needed.
Elvis is already ahead of schedule. Good thing too,
since there lots of long days ahead. All in all, a
good day.
Let's Get it on!
Elvis is in just about the worst shape of his life and has not spent much time on the bike this year. One of the coldest winters on record, one of the coldest springs on record, record snowfalls, record rain in June - conservatively put; the weather in Wisconsin has sucked more than usual. Global warming - where are you?
This means that Elvis could use your help this year. If you’re anywhere near Southeastern Wisconsin drop Elvis a line if you can put in a few pulls on one of the stages. Really.
To get you all jazzed up for the Tour take a look at this video - A highlight reel of the 2008 Masters 4/5 Race of the Giro de Grafton.
And here is a nice photo of Elvis’ cycling buddies Russ and Darin after the race;
Be sure to check in here
each day to see if Elvis is surviving. Elvis will
also provide his usual insights on that race in
France that you may have heard about, cool new bike
gear and of course, Elvis’ calling out of the
dopers who are killing our sport. First up this week;
Floyd Landis. Thanks to the correct ruling from the
Court of Arbitration for Sport, Landis is now a three
time loser and still insists that the world is out to
get him. "I am saddened by today's decision," Landis
said in a statement. "I am looking into my legal
options and deciding on the best way to proceed." Hey
Floyd, how about going away?
Another new feature this year is the poll which you
can participate in. Look in the column to the left on
this page and/or the Elvis Kennedy home
page.
Thank God It's (the last) Friday (of February)
Elvis would comment on the first big cycling race of the year; The Tour of California, sponsored by the makers of EPO - but nobody cares. The Spring Classics are just around the corner and the VS. Network will be there to cover it all via their "Cyclism Sundays" (Caution: Audio!). Elvis can't wait.
In the meantime, here is an interesting video to watch (Caution: Audio!);
And Elvis thought that the Wisconsin Cat. 4 races were tough!
Review: Positively False by Floyd Landis
Elvis reviews Floyd Landis'
book; Disco is Dead
The Discovery Channel Cycling Team and it's doping stars are gone. Good riddance! (Come back! I miss you!) Read More...
Elvis completes his task
Elvis gets bombed! 
A great ride. More doping
controversy. Cows. 
Meeting new people, riding new
roads. Stage 11 of the Tour de France Challenge.
Stage 10 - Shoes and towns and
tires. 
Stage 9 - 72 miles of cornfields.
Alexandre Vinokourov has panache. 
Stage 6 - 62 beautiful miles
through farm country