That cool picture of Port Washington (above) was taken after Elvis rode the torturous climb up the bluffs overlooking the port city. As today’s Stage was a solo ride by Elvis he can say, in pirate, “I hammered me bike to the top all by me onesy. Arrrrgh!”

Arrrrgh is right - 66 solo miles really took it’s toll today. Thunderstorms in the morning had Elvis very concerned about getting a big ride in safely, and with no further damage to his naughty parts since the saddle sores are still hanging around. As soon as the rain stopped I hopped on the bike to see how many miles I could log before the next storm rolled through. These last minute departures mean riding solo since most of Elvis’ potential riding partners aren’t typically waiting around for the hot phone to ring with Elvis on the line demanding, “Are you ridin’ or are you hidin’?”.

As the storms dissipated the wind and humidity began to rise. The ride went north through Jackson, Cheeseville and skirting West Bend. A turn east on a specific road ran through Random Lake. Continuing east until the road ended at Lake Michigan and then south through Belgium, Port Washington, Grafton and eventually, home. The wind, humidity and heat sucked all of the energy. By the time I rolled back into the garage I was dog meat dead. Thank goodness tomorrow’s Stage is a short one.

Take a close look at this sign (below) that was noted during the ride. What do you suppose is meant by, “Odds & Ends”? Since Wisconsin is home to both Jeffrey Dahmer and Ed Gein, I wonder. And that “Live Bait” business doesn’t make me feel any better about it either. The phone number is listed on the sign for those of you curious enough but if you choose to call, Elvis would recommend blocking your caller ID, you know, just in case.

Long solo rides can become mindless slogs. Elvis has been known to say, “90% of cycling is psychological, the other half is in your head”. Elvis fights this by using technology. And the perfect gadget for this in an Apple iPhone. I know, lots of Mac haters out there want to poo poo this thing but let me explain why it’s a perfect companion to a cyclist;

1) It’’s an iPod. I don’t recommend listening to music while cycling. This requires that you wear some sort of device in or on both ears. This in turn removes you audibly from your environment. You will not hear danger approaching. What Elvis does is listen to spoken word programs; podcasts, books on tape, The Elvis Kennedy Podcast. This way you can have something in or on your right ear, leaving your left ear clear for the sounds of danger. This is a great way to catch up with the news or read that book you heard about. Elvis once listened to an Earnest Hemingway book on tape - that guy was good!

2) It’s a phone. Big miles require big blocks of time. As astounding as this sounds, the world does not wait while Elvis rides. During short stops for water and food Elvis can check his voice-mails and text messages. He can also make calls or respond to text messages. This keeps Elvis in the loop and more importantly, gives others the illusion that Elvis is sitting at his desk. It’s also handy if you get separated from your riding buddies or if you need to call for assistance.

3) It’s a computer. Sending and receiving emails is simple and another great way to give that illusion of being in the office. Today, Elvis used the internet feature to track rain and storms by viewing a real-time weather radar. You can even get lives updates of the Tour de France!

4) It’s a camera. Not a high quality camera but nice to have in a pinch.

5) It has GPS-like functionality that uses cellular phone towers to triangulate your position. Elvis has used it and it’s pretty accurate - to within about 100 feet. Good enough if you’ve lost your way. And it will give you turn-by-turn directions to the nearest Starbucks or other source of caffeine.

6) It’s small, thin and lightweight. Slides into and out of a jersey pocket easily.

And finally, it can be used to keep the dear readers of the Elvis Kennedy blog updated - LIVE! That’s right folks, Elvis Kennedy is announcing that as of today, followers of Elvis’ Tour Challenge can get live updates during the Stage rides. LIVE UPDATES! See photos of the Stages HERE (http://gallery.mac.com/elviskennedy#100131), and messages HERE (http://twitter.com/elviskennedy).

What’s really cool is that you can subscribe to both feeds and each time Elvis sends a live photo or text message you will be notified (via email or text message). On the photo site simply click on the “Subscribe” button. On the text site you’ll need to get an account (free) for the live updates. Or you can simply bookmark both pages and check-in periodically. Wow! The things that Elvis does for his dear readers!

With all of that - Elvis is tired. Time for bed. Good night.

Mileage Goal: 65. Miles ridden: 66.

I enjoy watching the Tour on the Versus Network but it’s annoying that they run the same handful of commercials over and over. This year there’s an ad for some financial business in which a guy is chasing someone who has “stolen his identity”. Elvis has always thought that this ‘identity theft’ business is silly. It’s become so silly in fact, that our own government states HERE that, “as many as 9 million Americans have their identities stolen each year”. Really? Nine million people out there who are no longer who they once were? Silly. If someone takes your credit cards that’s credit card theft. No one can steal your identity. But Elvis likes to imagine what life would be like if it could happen; “Hey boss, did that guy who stole my identity come in for work today”? When the mortgage banker calls you just inform him that you are no longer you so the banker will need to look elsewhere for the payment. Those felonies? Gone. Pesky ex-girlfriends? Gone. Weird family? Gone. Talk about freedom! Which makes Elvis think - that guy in the commercial who is chasing the thief; why? For heaven’s sake let him go. You’ve got a brand new lease on life my friend.

But back to the matter at hand; today’s ride called for 51 miles, so I called for help from Darin and Mike. They stepped up to the plate in a big way by meeting Elvis early and pulling him around the countryside. North out of Germantown we headed to Saukville and Lake Michigan. A more spectacular day we could not have had. Once again it was beautiful, clear blue skies, light wind and mild temperatures. Light traffic and not too many other cyclists to get in our way. The only thing that slowed us down was a many mile long freight train which caused a minor traffic jam (see photo, below).

Since this is Elvis’ fourth go ‘round with this Tour Challenge thing you’d think he would have learned a thing or two. But yesterday I made two big mistakes; I didn’t drink enough on the bike and I didn’t shower immediately after the ride. The first caused a headache that I couldn’t shake and the second has caused what could be the genesis of a saddle sore. Stupid!

I guess I fell victim to complacency. We all know the need to keep hydrated when exercising. My usual rule is to hyper-hydrate to avoid this issue - drinking water until my pee is clear. In fact, I once developed a guide so that you can easily tell if you’ve been drinking enough simply by looking at the color of your pee. For your convenience I reproduce it here;

As for the saddle sore, I’ll start by cleaning the suspect areas with antibacterial soap multiple times per day and I’ll also start using a saddle cream during rides. Let’s hope that does the trick or it’s going to be a very long 3 weeks!

Mileage goal for today: 51. Miles ridden: 55. That puts another 4 miles in the bank. Check the “Tour Mileage Chart” tab at left and you’ll see that this Tour thing is already 10% over. I’m not sure if I should be happy or sad. Then again, maybe someone else has become Elvis Kennedy via that identity theft thing and it’s not my problem anymore.

Elvis couldn’t ask for a finer day to begin this year’s 50% of the Miles 100% of the Effort Tour de France Challenge. Cloudless skies, light breeze, warm but not hot temperature and good cycling buddy Darin at his side.

Darin is an interesting fellow. He is riding a brand new Trek Madonne bicycle and brand new Bontrager Race X Light wheels, that he got free. All of it. Free. He tells a rather mysterious tale of cracked chain stays and micro cracks near the spoke nipples on the wheels. Something about Trek telling him too bad, Darin not accepting that answer and suddenly he gets his new stuff. Further, Trek originally sent him a frame without a fork since Darin had not said anything about cracks in the fork. Since the new frame did not match the old fork something had to be done, according to Darin. Trek obliged by sending out a brand new (matching) fork. Weird. I’ve never heard such a wild tale ending so splendidly for the protagonist. But kudos to Darin for getting bicycle giant Trek to stand behind their stuff. Next time I’m in the market for a new frame I’ll be going over every millimeter of my old one with a scanning electron microscope and then providing the details to Darin so he can contact Earnesto Colnago on Elvis’ behalf.

Today’s stage took us northwest out of Germantown, into Slinger and then west to Rubicon. Nice country roads the entire way. Farmers were out cutting hay and the sweet smells made Elvis smile. That and the light breeze. This is the first day in months that the winds haven’t been blowing somewhere between 15 and 45 miles per hour. If Elvis had any extra cash he’d invest in a wind farm. It’s been so windy that severe weather alerts like the one below have been commonplace;

From Rubicon we turned south, skirted the town of Hartford and soon found ourselves climbing up and over the Holy Hill range. Today’s route had a bit too much climbing for an opening stage and I hope there is not a high price to pay.

Elvis has spent so little time on the bike that he forgot to bring the camera - a mainstay during Tour stages. Fortunately, he did have a cell phone with a camera and was able to capture this moment - Darin rolling past an outhouse in the middle of nowhere. Must be a government installation of some sort, since the rest of us would just pee in the woods. Darin could roll confidently by since he has read the now classic, Elvis Kennedy’s Guide to Peeing While Riding a Bike.

By the time we arrived back we had put in 62 miles. One more than needed. Elvis is already ahead of schedule. Good thing too, since there lots of long days ahead. All in all, a good day.

It’s Tour time and Elvis is back for the Fourth Annual 50% of the Miles 100% of the Effort Tour de France Challenge. To keep tabs on Elvis’ progess click on the “Tour Mileage Chart” at left.

Elvis is in just about the worst shape of his life and has not spent much time on the bike this year. One of the coldest winters on record, one of the coldest springs on record, record snowfalls, record rain in June - conservatively put; the weather in Wisconsin has sucked more than usual. Global warming - where are you?

This means that Elvis could use your help this year. If you’re anywhere near Southeastern Wisconsin drop Elvis a line if you can put in a few pulls on one of the stages. Really.

To get you all jazzed up for the Tour take a look at this video - A highlight reel of the 2008 Masters 4/5 Race of the Giro de Grafton.

And here is a nice photo of Elvis’ cycling buddies Russ and Darin after the race;

Be sure to check in here each day to see if Elvis is surviving. Elvis will also provide his usual insights on that race in France that you may have heard about, cool new bike gear and of course, Elvis’ calling out of the dopers who are killing our sport. First up this week; Floyd Landis. Thanks to the correct ruling from the Court of Arbitration for Sport, Landis is now a three time loser and still insists that the world is out to get him. "I am saddened by today's decision," Landis said in a statement. "I am looking into my legal options and deciding on the best way to proceed." Hey Floyd, how about going away?

Another new feature this year is the poll which you can participate in. Look in the column to the left on this page and/or the Elvis Kennedy home page.